Party in the front, Bussness in the back

I really don't get the emo scene, or goth, or the 'scene' scene. I just think they are useless wastes of time where people try to attract the opposite sex with obscure references or insane amounts of makeup. My friends convinced it's because I don't have a fashion sense. Well basically, why I started on this rant is to tell you about this kid I know. He's one grade younger and a share a class with him. He is one of the more emo kids at our school. The lightest colored shirt he has is a dark brown. He likes to go around with his iPod, and a handy dandy little speaker, annoy the fuck out of everyone with heavy metal. His hair cut has bangs that touch his noes, and alomst bald in the back. It's not a straight cut point for the diffrent hair lengths, but I still think it looks like a backwards mullet.

Girl (and two extra guys) trouble.

Ever find something out? Something that you never wanted to know but probably would not function properly if you didn't know. Think something like back to the truth about Santa or the birds and the bees.

I found something out about my girlfriend. She has serious issues.

It turns out, as a child, she had some serious abuse. Dark damp stuff. And as a result, she has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Wonderful stuff for a young adult girl to have. Basically she has a few alternate personalities in her brain. At the latest census, there was seven, even though most aren't very active. Most anybody who gets to her, this deep inside her to find out this, they just can't handle it. They don't know what to do, what the fuck she's talking about most of the time.

I didn't. And she love me for it.

I think I know why too. Most people, hearing news like that, would think she's a freak, a fault, someone that deserves to never ever see the light of day save what ever comes through a padded room. I think it's kinda neat. Almost a Sci-Fi program, and with odd names to match. You think Daleks is odd, you've seen nothing. Sci-Fi is also the only other place where I've seen death, rebirth, rebirth as something totally different, and redeath.

Honestly, it's fun. She has two personalities that are rather prominent, first Jack. Your typical biker with an infinite appetite for sex and steak. The appetite for sex is one of the reasons I like him a lot. He's just a biker stuck in a young girl's body. Not in the way he would like to be either. Then there's Lex, when he was first born, he was convinced he was a resurrected crusader here to protect the girl. He tends to be an odd cross between Johnny Depp and Cyrano de Bergerac. He's all about honor and doesn't want to get into a relationship with me until he knows me well. I've already fuck him twice, good timing with his horny cycles I think, and it really pisses him off.

There are more of them, I don't quite know them and barely know of them, but hey, more fun for the future.

<3

My New Years Resolution is to Make a Resolution

Ah, a new year, a new chance to fail at everything I do.

I think I really know why I haven't been writing here so much. I got a girlfriend. It releases stress. I only write here because it releases stress, the need to get something off my chest. But if I have another source, this seems meaningless. Honestly have a girlfriend sucks balls. What I think is worse is that she has a few rape fantasizes. Now that in itself may seem bad, but it's not really. From small psychological things I've read, what a rape fantasy really is is a cry that she wants a more controlling man. Something different from this feminized world. Even when I don't have a girlfriend, I'm a pretty relaxed guy. Asking me to have anger and raw animalistic feeling while I thrust, just doesn't really work for me.

But my title does actually work, it would actually be 'plan' a resolution down, but whatever. Take the time to actually plan something out and you got most of the work down already. Or so says a self-help book I got on how to not procrastinate. Which reminds me, need to sit down and finish that book. So I actually made a plan. I will create an indie film by May 2010. It also says to create a deadline for everything unless they're just floating in the wind. So create a script, finish by February. Get funding, get a cast, get a camera and a crew. Get filming.

Hopefully it will work out and not become another idea on the shelf gathering dust.

Yay! We're fuck up!

Sorry if I didn't write that much last month, I was preparing for NanoWriMo. Not really but I'll use that as an excuse. I am a bit of a procrastinator so this will hopefully help me. I also procrastinated with the signing up part so don't go looking for me on their sight. That doesn't matter I can still do it without the word count.

If you read some of my posts labeled "Parable of Insanity". The story is basically about him, trying to fit into the real world. Then again, I can't decide on several different variables so I started rewriting it about twice already. The main difference between the versions is his name, weather he has one or not, I think I might call him Keter. But I would like to keep him nameless.

"Come here often?" He says, talking this time instead of just smiling.
"As often as I get lame pick up lines" She says, smiling at her comeback.
"Well it's my first time here, can you show me around?"
"Wait, I'm pretty sure I've seen you here before." She blurts out, confused.
"No you have not, it was just an illusion" He pauses before adding, "You must have some good daydreams if I am in them."

He can be a sweet guy when he needs be, or wants to be. But really he is quite insane. Sweet sociopathic guys. Insanity is a fashion statement nowadays. Come on, go crazy, all the cool kids are doing it! Just look at things like Jhonney The Homicidal Maniac, Dexter, and many more that I can't think of at the moment. Also the whole fashion of emos cutting themselves, come to think of it I would like to cut emos too.

Last Dance for Mary Jane

He looked at her and saw more than a girl. More than anything he ever saw before really. Half a coffee shop between them and he could smell her hair, feel her breath, touch her skin. Nothing lasts forever, same with coffee. Soon enough, too soon for him, she left. Leaving only a warm seat and a empty cup. He wouldn't leave home with only that, oh no, not this time. He need more, much more that he ever survived on before. He asked how he could have ever survive before this night, before this chase of a girl. Three blocks north, one west. The longest and most exciting walk he had ever taken because at the end was her. The Beauty. And him the Beast. But that story ends a whole lot better. No one dies in that story. Everyone is happy. He knew he couldn't be happy. So he got as close as he could to true happiness by getting as physically close to this girl as possible. Once her door was down, all she tried was to get away, all her might was against him. But he knew she couldn't win, he was waiting much much longer for this chance. Nothing could keep him away form this girl tonight, especially not this girl. And he got his chance, his chance at happiness. And let me tell you something, he enjoyed every moment. The moment which she could run no longer. The moment where he first laid his hand upon her skin. When she shivered at his touch and screamed at his grab. She screamed and screamed but nothing could be done to stop him. The universe itself couldn't tear them apart at this point as he grabbed for more, so much more than he has seen before. And he took those hands that struck him and those feet that crawled from him and made sure that they could do no more. And he had his way, not just with her body but with her soul as well. He tasted not every square inch of her body but every cubic inch as well. Blood filled the room in not only volume but smell. the air was rich in the stench of iron. The stench he now loved as it came from the girl he loved one night and for the rest of his life.

<3

Rant of a Shy Guy

If one thing is out there I hate, it's people. Most people can go down the fucking drain with two bottles of Drano and a dash of bleach for taste. Relations are literal hell on Earth, worrying about someone is absolutely useless. Either they're dead or they're alive, worrying makes as much of a difference than whether or not there are 11 or just ten dimensions in our universe.

I believe that kids, some time when they were raised, should be left in the middle of the woods for about three or four weeks. Maybe a year or two. Not for proving they are strong enough to catch their own food or fend for themselves. But to prove they can live with themselves and only themselves. Kinda like cabin fever for Kids! This just proves to them how many people are going to be there for them most of their life. That will really show them how will be there for them the rest of their lives. Not mommy or daddy, not the government or some good-will church. No one. Not a soul.

People really need to learn that the only person you can trust is yourself. To be truthful, I don't trust that guy very much.

Turns out, didn't really work out with that guy, oh well.

Love letter from a pedo

My Lust,

I know I have seen you before but never in the eyes I have now. For days, you have passed me by, simple, just another in all the crowds. But today was different, oh how today was different, it was so much more magical than the day before. For today you saw me.

And now everything is of you, my thoughts, my dreams, my life. It's as only you and I exist. The world could be gone tomorrow for all I care as long as you and me were still hear. Death for them is life for us. Life would be worth living everyday till the end of time if I could only have you. I would feel death a thousand times to have you in my arms for but an hour, My Lust! No man, woman, or child so go a single day with out this, nothing but hope and joy for the days to come.

And all of this because of you. I would want nothing in this world if it was only your cock I could have, I would keep it till the end of time. Till the end of time I would grind against you, feel you struggle against me for the world so free. But I wouldn't want you free, I want you here, in my arms. Nobody's but mine.

For I have such lust the gods themselves could not contain, for you are nothing less than a god in my eyes. Stunning in beauty, perfection, as none other could see the pureness of you and your body. I would rip it open limb for limb just to find its secret. Tear it open to look inside and see the answers to all questions and the question to all answers. But nothing could compare to you, the boy who I would kill a thousand girls and shake a million lives if I could have you for just one day, My Lust.

Till the earth itself breaks,
Wylv



I kinda met someone today, he seems like a nice guy. We share a class but never been introduced to each other before today. I do hope it goes well with him.