My Girl/Boyfriend

As I've said before, I have a girlfriend with multiple personality disorder. One of her favorite alters is one named Jack. Your normal big bad motorcycle madman. Right now she is integrating with him. For those a bit un-researched in the MPD or DID area, integration is when the two that have split off from each other come back together. Normally the original alter will pretty much stay the same. However, she has concluded that Jack was the original, the one who was born into that body. Now instead of the abuse causing the splits causing the gender dysphoria. Its the gender dysphoria causing the abuse causing the splits. K was there for Jack to protect him from the awful dreaded act of wearing skirts. Among other things. Doesn't make too much sence to me because Jack fits way too well into a stereotype and there have been stories told of him being born, more or less.

How does this fit into me you might ask? Well one of the first things my Girlfriend decided when she started integrating, is that she was a boy. And I'm really having trouble accepting that. When we got together, I was mostly in it for, well, sex at first. But I learned to love her. Important part there, "Her". Jack, who she considered downright necessary for him to get a release, was kinda a side bonus. He was this guy that would be way more intense and a real beast and all these other things I could list. They both brought these unique things to the relationship that together was fantastic. But things change. For the last month or two, Jack hasn't been out. And I've realized something. I like being a man, I like being in control and on top of things, like my women. I wanna be a man, I wanna have a girl that will want me, want to do my every whim. And yes, that seems a little sexist, but it's how everything worked out for the last 10,000 years. Why should this century be any different? What I don't want is a boy, and unfortunately in my girlfriend, that's all there is left.

And I gotta start calling her Calvin. I'm not sure if I can do that.

An Old Dawn

I've heard a lot about my girlfriend's mother. She died when my GF was 12, but she had made her damage by then. It's thanks to her that my GF has Alters in her head that fuck with her life. From what I've been told, its worse than you can imagine, the things that were done. Horribleness. Monstrosities. Scars that will never fade.

Starts with a book thrown in anger. Her anger didn't stop. There were chains, there were cages, there was anal. I know there was anal because occasionally when I try that, she will start laughing and not stop for hours until someone else comes out and fronts for a few days.

This started when she was about six, maybe earlier, she doesn't like to talk about it. And now it won't ever stop. The scars and the cracks might not ever heal.

"This mailbox even gets mail for her occasionally. It takes me a second to remember who Dawn H. is on the letter."

"Dawn?" I ask.

"Yea," She replies. "That was my mom's name."

That's a pretty name. Dawn. Isn't it? Never is a name so hopeful, so full of light. It does not suit her. I've never seen so much hate directed at a single person, besides maybe Hitler. It would be nice if the world seemed to name everyone according to their personality. Then again, if that was the case. I know a lot of people who would be named Ass.

Lets go to the mall!

I just got a new dildo, and I don't think I've ever been in love with something this inanimate before.

It was a gift for Jack, more or less. Something that he can strap-on and fuck me with. Not quiet exactally what he wanted, it's bright pink. But still, something to strap on and just hump away with. And since I won't really see him until Monday, I got it for the weekend. I already want to be fucked with it.

But the much more interesting part of the story is how we got it. We took, a day trip to Modesto, me and my girlfriend, my brother and her boyfriend. In case that last sentence confused you, I have this long running joke with one of my female friends that we call each other "Brother". Kinda started out when she said I was like a brother to her, this pissed me off because I do not like to be told I am unfuckable. So I called he brother back, she pick up on it, this pissed me off more. But anyways, me, my GF, my female friend, and her BF went on a day trip to Modesto, which was pretty much the closest place to get a dildo. All hail the mall. We we get into Modesto, we have a little accident, my GF, driving, didn't quite realize we were in the right turn lane. Results, a little paint damage to their car, and our left-side mirror is totally fucked up. And we have to wait an hour for the cops to show up and take a report while we are, and I'm not lying, half a block away from the mall.

The mall was normal, we walked past Hot Topic, we turned our heads towards the door, we see a life size picture of Edward, we keep on walking. We go to International Imports, we pick out a sweet dildo we think we have cash for, we count all out cash up, we're two bucks short. We remember a gift card, and then the machine says it's perfectly OK to buy a $30 item on a $25 non-reloadable gift card. After failing to convince the clerk that it's not her fault and it's ok to let us go because it said that the transaction went through, she checks it out and finds out we have seventy cents left. We pick out another, cheaper, dildo. We go to Cinabon and enjoy a snack. All is well.

Right before we are about to leave, we go to the bathroom, down this long hall. Now right next to the bathroom was a bunch of vending machines, and a photo booth. One of those old ones you use on vacations but they don't have any backgrounds, you know the type. But anyways, it's something to do while everyone I'm there with goes piss. I step inside and it moves, just a little, but enough to notice. I move my foot a bit and I can rock it back and forth. Interesting enough. So, one of my friends pop out of the bathroom and I show him, slightly interested. I mess around with it a bit more and this six-and-a-half-foot tall black mall cop say "Hey, knock that off," in a menacing black voice. I go, ok, ok, I'll be a good little boy. I watch the cop walk down the hall and turn away, completely out of site. Then I show the rest of my friends. The cop appears out of no where and goes, "You need to come with me." The cop won't even let me walk across the mall to get to the car, and he escorts my driver while me and the rest of my friends are waiting outside. At this point, I convince myself that my friend is pregnant. Because, first, she just got done puking in the bathroom, and second she told me off in the most serious tone, right in between bouts of laughter. "HAHAHAHA, God, what were you thinking, shaking a photo booth?!?! I mean he told you not to shake the photo booth and what did you do, you shook the photo booth, HAHAHA."

After my GF picks us all up, there all ganging up on me for getting us kicked out. "Did anybody else want something from the mall? Anybody? Anything? That's what I thought."

Girl (and two extra guys) trouble.

Ever find something out? Something that you never wanted to know but probably would not function properly if you didn't know. Think something like back to the truth about Santa or the birds and the bees.

I found something out about my girlfriend. She has serious issues.

It turns out, as a child, she had some serious abuse. Dark damp stuff. And as a result, she has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Wonderful stuff for a young adult girl to have. Basically she has a few alternate personalities in her brain. At the latest census, there was seven, even though most aren't very active. Most anybody who gets to her, this deep inside her to find out this, they just can't handle it. They don't know what to do, what the fuck she's talking about most of the time.

I didn't. And she love me for it.

I think I know why too. Most people, hearing news like that, would think she's a freak, a fault, someone that deserves to never ever see the light of day save what ever comes through a padded room. I think it's kinda neat. Almost a Sci-Fi program, and with odd names to match. You think Daleks is odd, you've seen nothing. Sci-Fi is also the only other place where I've seen death, rebirth, rebirth as something totally different, and redeath.

Honestly, it's fun. She has two personalities that are rather prominent, first Jack. Your typical biker with an infinite appetite for sex and steak. The appetite for sex is one of the reasons I like him a lot. He's just a biker stuck in a young girl's body. Not in the way he would like to be either. Then there's Lex, when he was first born, he was convinced he was a resurrected crusader here to protect the girl. He tends to be an odd cross between Johnny Depp and Cyrano de Bergerac. He's all about honor and doesn't want to get into a relationship with me until he knows me well. I've already fuck him twice, good timing with his horny cycles I think, and it really pisses him off.

There are more of them, I don't quite know them and barely know of them, but hey, more fun for the future.

<3