Double your foreplay, call it eightplay!

God, I hate all these women saying that "Men don't do any foreplay!" or "It's all about sex for them". Well you know what sister, I do a lot of foreplay, I'm just betting your idea and my idea of foreplay is completely different.

You know what, I've heard it said a lot of different times that a woman's biggest sex organ is her brain, and I highly believe that's true, unless you have breasts that are bigger than three pounds, but that's another story. And I think the mental aspect of sex, the imagining, the fantasies, the real interesting stuff that only comes out of the gutters, I think all of that is highly important. That's why I practice it all the time.

I'll see a girl sitting in the next desk and start thinking about how I would love to take her breasts in my hands and squeeze them for hours. Or I'll take a girl with rather bright lipstick and imagine those lips sucking something that ain't exactly made out of sugar. And maybe that girl who's sitting with her legs just a bit apart, and how I'd love to stick my fingers down there and make her scream in pleasure. And that's not even the half of it.

So you know when I have a girl say "You don't do enough foreplay." I respond "You want me to do more than eight hours a day? Come on, I think I'm being excessive."

Miami Varsity Sports vs. Tropical Storm Ike

I was watching 'Extreme Home Makeover' with my step mom the other day. I was kinda making fun of it as I usually do with shows like this. "Man this family been through so much. One of their first houses was lost in Katrina, they moved more north into tornado country, and lost their house. So one of the important things here today is really giving a family back their house but the most important thing-"

"Is ratings"

This kinda made me realize that I'm lucky to live in California. We don't have bad weather that destroys cites. We do have fires and the occasional earthquake but we can prepare for those. And we have firefighters. I have yet to see someone go up against a tornado. But there are a few sporting guys named 'The Hurricane' or something to that matter. But when you put them up against something that's a couple hundred miles wide and going 120 miles per hour...

Let's just say I got my money on the tropical storm.