Double your foreplay, call it eightplay!

God, I hate all these women saying that "Men don't do any foreplay!" or "It's all about sex for them". Well you know what sister, I do a lot of foreplay, I'm just betting your idea and my idea of foreplay is completely different.

You know what, I've heard it said a lot of different times that a woman's biggest sex organ is her brain, and I highly believe that's true, unless you have breasts that are bigger than three pounds, but that's another story. And I think the mental aspect of sex, the imagining, the fantasies, the real interesting stuff that only comes out of the gutters, I think all of that is highly important. That's why I practice it all the time.

I'll see a girl sitting in the next desk and start thinking about how I would love to take her breasts in my hands and squeeze them for hours. Or I'll take a girl with rather bright lipstick and imagine those lips sucking something that ain't exactly made out of sugar. And maybe that girl who's sitting with her legs just a bit apart, and how I'd love to stick my fingers down there and make her scream in pleasure. And that's not even the half of it.

So you know when I have a girl say "You don't do enough foreplay." I respond "You want me to do more than eight hours a day? Come on, I think I'm being excessive."

Guitargasms

I'm taking guitar lessons from a guy on my block. Its pretty cool, I got free lessons because I'm friends with his daughter. Me and his daughter fuck at almost every chance we get.

I don't think he knows that.

Bet anyways, every Tuesday night, I walk over to his place and learn to rock out. He is so good, Stevie Ray Vaughan would blush. He has about ten guitars, half a dozen amps, including one that's about 5 feet tall, and a wife that is apparently annoyed by that five foot tall amp and the noises it makes. He's done neat things, almost any song I named he could play, long as it was at least twenty years old, he pretty big into classical rock. He even got me into country. How? by making me play a really neat and fun country song. For Cinco de Mayo, he taught me flamingo by some guy I can't remember. Half the stuff he teaches, I can't quite remember. Probably more than half. But it's ok, I go back home and try to remember for hours on end rocking out on my guitar.

But the latest thing he taught me is "Old Man". You know the one. Why? Cause I don't know the guy, "old man, look at my life, I'm a lot like you were." That one. Basically, he starts off with the intro, just going at it, but instead of just the into, he mixes it up, adding about fifty different things to it that gust sound great. Moving it up a string, then down a few frets, then doing it with cords instead of plucking, then slowing it down with such emphasis on some notes, the whole house shakes with anticipation. Then speeding it back up, really speeding it back up, more cords, new frets, more strings thrown in. Then he does it, a twelfth harmonic.

Ahh.

A little moan comes out of my mouth before I knew it. He doesn't even look up from his guitar, he's just happy playing, I don't quite know if the smile on his face was there before the moan. I don't even know if he heard that, he so close to the amp. I think his daughter noticed though, she turns around from the computer and gives me one raised eyebrow before turning back to the random crappy site for funny gifs.

I just sit there quietly and try to not look to embarrassed.

Rant number 1

This was originally posted on 411chan by me.



No one ever comes here, nice place to rant.

Right now I'm watching Chris Angel, he's trying to prove that physic don't exist. It's just on the tv, I'm not really watching it, but it's there.

Background noise. Seems like there is a lot of that around now days. Nothing is ever quiet, peaceful. Everything has noise. Fridges, AC, computers, cars, crickets. No one pays attention to them. Ever.

I guess that's a safety measure. If your brain took in everything that ever went into it, it would explode, just the same stuff over and over again. So it filters stuff out, most of the time its just little stuff. Background noise.

But we really do filter out to much good stuff. Normal stuff, important stuff. It all just fades away.

People are just big soft cocks.

Some people do catch stuff. Collect stuff. Some mom who really cares about their kid. Some Wall Street Guy who's paid to know about what stock is going to be next week.But you tend to lose something when you do that. The mom deep in her kid's life probably doesn't have a job, or one that requires much time or mental effort. Mr. Wall Street may have a wife and kids, but they'll want to see more of him. Same with any friends he has. People just aren't really meant to do that much for to long without their brain exploding, splitting, or breaking down.

One of the reasons I don't believe that trying to become medically immortal is such a good idea. After a few hundred years, what's the point? I don't believe anything has a point anyways even though I've only been here for a few years. A few centuries? I don't think so.

I'm just a little depressive in case you can't tell.

I do try to live in the moment, not really care about life or the future. In a good way though. Its because whenever I look at life and take a good look. I see something. Life sucks. Life really sucks.

When you take it all in to account. You could tell days and days of 'feelgood' stories. I could tell years and years of 'feelbad' stories. Doesn't that make you feel nice?