Note: Since this is a notice of changes over long periods of time, Parts 2 and 3 will probably come out when I am 40 and 60 respectably.
I've been noticing things. I don't really want to talk to long and why I don't want to be sitting at this computer for more than a few minuets should be obvious soon. I know little things that we once liked and did changes places with things we loath and ignore all the time. For as long as I can remember I've liked chocolate, in any form. This is very normal. However, I've had friends tell me that they very clearly remember me not like Hershey's. I do not remember this at all. I would almost buy it too because it sounds like some sort of anti-corporation thing kick that I was on that I've been known to do. I don't believe it because chocolate is chocolate is chocolate is chocolate is good.
I've been noticing things that I've haven't liked before that I currently like. I always remember as a little kid instantly hating all vegetable like things for almost the soul fact that they are vegetables. Eventually learned to enjoy(or at least tolerate) things like carrots, broccoli, asparagus, and corn. I still don't like Brussels sprouts and my mom tends to buy these 'steam in the microwave' corn carrots broccoli packs that are disturbing how disgusting they are, they are the only events in recent memory of someone telling me to eat my veggies and me flat out saying "No". All those are rather understandable for a small child to not like, however, I also remember not liking olives, mushrooms and onions. I remember looking back to the small child I once was and thinking "Was I fucking retarded? That shits delicious." Pizzas are much better now. Still not crazy about peppers.
Tonight, I had homemade fried chicken, nothing new, but this was made with Sriracha, better known as Red Rooster hot sauce that hails from Vietnam. Now, there wasn't enough of this stuff to provide much more of a small kick under the skin. But, I'm testing how the chicken tastes and notice the bottle of sriracha on the counter. I pour a dab just as a taste test. Taste good. Bigger dab, still taste good. One fried chicken thigh later, I felt like I got kicked in the mouth. But in a good loving way, just like my ex used to do. I never use to like hot sauce before, but now I do. Growing up is weird.
Fun fact, that was about four hours ago, and as of right now, my innards are doing this dance that feels like what I would imagine a person to react to someone being locked in a 6'by6' room for four hours having the ceiling and walls slowly leek lava. FUN.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Frieng Scientist Discovers Immortality - 9/7/2054
Editor's note: I am not a time traveler and this is not actually news from the future. This was an assignment that my English teacher made a few years ago. The overall project was "Your Entire Life" and the excerpt I'm about to share is supposes to be the newspaper clipping of our death. I thought I would be original and talk about how I discovered immortality because, well, that's my plan. After talking to the teacher, this idea got turned down. I went with something like I died freak-crazy-awesome fireworks accident and left behind "Four wives, seventeen children, thirty grandchildren, twelve great-grandchildren, one great-great-granddaughter, and a pack of wolves." After finding my original draft, I realized that that was probably a good thing that my idea got turned down.
CALIFORNIA, USA - Yesterday, Wylv of SBL.Inc, made a statement declaring that he had figured out the gene that makes people age and how to turn it off. This gene theapary may be placed in expecting women's children and may be introduced into living adults through various procedures.
Wylv has been working on the gene responsible for aging for over twenty years, he explains "About seven years ago, we did identify the gene and a way for putting the fix into zygotes. But we still needed a way to transfer the fix into living adults, and we needed to find out if there were any side effects to the thepary. Fifteen women voulnteered to have their babies become part of the experiment."
Wylv explains how he came to the conclusion that he fixed aging "After the babies were born, 8 girls and 7 boys, we preformed biopsies of various tissues, then subgugated thoes tissues to a number of tests that that would simulate 50 years of growth, splitting into new cells, followed by growth. In the normal human, a strand of DNA degrades each time it splits, only a little bit, but after about fourty to fifty times, it becomes noticable. The DNA and tissues of these test subjects however did not decay at all, leading to the assumsion that after these children were fully grown, they were never age."
Then Wylv explains how he found the method in which adults can fight aging from this therapey. "After doing a series of completly ligimate experiments with the young girls, I realized that the genes can be passed from one person to another through the use of the one place in the body where more partial copies of genes can be made than any other, the genitalia. Each little girl can carry one 'dose' of the thepary inside of her that is passible to a man. Any attempt to get a dose from a used girl would be futitle. Each dose can make a man look five years younger."
Wylv explains this when, even that he is over 60 years old, he looks about 20. "I found out that I can also pass doses to my wife through oral ingestion of my seminal fluids for about four days after each dose I take. When taken this way, the doeses are themselves less potent, but there can be multiple doeses taken. Fasting seems increase the effictiveness of this."
Wylv explains that little boys can also be effecive in transfuring the gene thepary. "My coulgies have studied on the male subjects and found that the rectums can be just as effective as female genetalia. They even get the bonus of being able to transfur it to others through their semen for about four days afterwards."
When asked what he will do now that he will most likely never die, Wylv replied "I'm going to fuck tight virgin pussy till the end of time."
CALIFORNIA, USA - Yesterday, Wylv of SBL.Inc, made a statement declaring that he had figured out the gene that makes people age and how to turn it off. This gene theapary may be placed in expecting women's children and may be introduced into living adults through various procedures.
Wylv has been working on the gene responsible for aging for over twenty years, he explains "About seven years ago, we did identify the gene and a way for putting the fix into zygotes. But we still needed a way to transfer the fix into living adults, and we needed to find out if there were any side effects to the thepary. Fifteen women voulnteered to have their babies become part of the experiment."
Wylv explains how he came to the conclusion that he fixed aging "After the babies were born, 8 girls and 7 boys, we preformed biopsies of various tissues, then subgugated thoes tissues to a number of tests that that would simulate 50 years of growth, splitting into new cells, followed by growth. In the normal human, a strand of DNA degrades each time it splits, only a little bit, but after about fourty to fifty times, it becomes noticable. The DNA and tissues of these test subjects however did not decay at all, leading to the assumsion that after these children were fully grown, they were never age."
Then Wylv explains how he found the method in which adults can fight aging from this therapey. "After doing a series of completly ligimate experiments with the young girls, I realized that the genes can be passed from one person to another through the use of the one place in the body where more partial copies of genes can be made than any other, the genitalia. Each little girl can carry one 'dose' of the thepary inside of her that is passible to a man. Any attempt to get a dose from a used girl would be futitle. Each dose can make a man look five years younger."
Wylv explains this when, even that he is over 60 years old, he looks about 20. "I found out that I can also pass doses to my wife through oral ingestion of my seminal fluids for about four days after each dose I take. When taken this way, the doeses are themselves less potent, but there can be multiple doeses taken. Fasting seems increase the effictiveness of this."
Wylv explains that little boys can also be effecive in transfuring the gene thepary. "My coulgies have studied on the male subjects and found that the rectums can be just as effective as female genetalia. They even get the bonus of being able to transfur it to others through their semen for about four days afterwards."
When asked what he will do now that he will most likely never die, Wylv replied "I'm going to fuck tight virgin pussy till the end of time."
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